Disgrace as guests leave Clooney wedding

clooneyAfter four days of parties, dinners, water taxi rides and selfies in Venice, guests at the wedding of George Clooney and his 36-year-old fiancée Amal Almuddin, left the celebrity circus disgusted.

After spending millions of dollars on endless parties for its Hollywood friends, exposing them all to the paparazzi, the couple failed to ensure the Nespresso supplies would last.

Clooney has earned no less than $40 million to date as the ambassador for the instant espresso brand.

Speaking after the ceremony, Bono said the last time he had been that disgusted was when he was last snubbed for a Nobel Peace Prize.

“We’ve been awake for more than fucking 96 hours for these people. When I finally reached the front of the Nespresso queue I was told there was only Lavazza left,” said U2 front man Bono while waiting on a street corner for a ‘good friend’ to meet him.hello-george-and-amal-cover-z

Matt Damon, who also appeared in a few Nespresso ads, was equally disgusted.

Before jumping into a speed boat, Damon shouted, “I’ve blocked both George and, um, I can’t pronounce her name…oh wait, I can, Mrs Clooney on Facebook. Do you know he earned three times as much as I did for the same fucking Nespresso advert? Lavazza? I can’t even pronounce that word. Lavazza! Jesus!”

After 4 days of debauchery, which saw 18 innocent bystanders injured, and approximately 35 guests arrested and charged for a range of crimes, the couple married behind closed doors in Venice on Monday.

53-year-old Clooney was his own best man, and performed all the speeches during the ceremony. He reminded the world how lucky Amal Almuddin was to have met him.

Nespresso refused to comment.


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