julius_steve_detailSouth African self-appointed political activist and karaoke singer Steve Hofmeyr may be been banned from all toy shops around the country for up to 10 years.

Shortly after getting into a social media spat with a puppet named Chester Missing, Hofmeyr was seen arguing with a stuffed toy in a Boksburg branch of Toys is Us.

Toy is Us manager Specky Spoegmasjien said he had heard a loud commotion coming from the back of his store on Thursday afternoon.

“It is craziness what I hearing. I was unpacking a box of catties [hand-operated catapults] when crazy noises coming from my shop. My shelves collapse. My customers shout. I grabbed a catty and two marbles for safeness [safety] and run to see,” said a still shaken Spoegmasjien.

When Spoegmasjien went to investigate, he found Hofmeyr calling one of his stuffed toys ‘an idiotic golliwog¬†with no future’.

Spoegmasjien said he also heard Hofmeyr blaming the stuffed toy for apartheid.

Gertie Bakgat
Lana van Poggenpoel

Spoegmasjien said he had to call one of his female staff members, Lana ’16 Valve’ van
Poggenpoel to restrain Hofmeyr.

Hofmeyr was arrested shortly afterwards, and faces the prospect of being banned from all toy stores for up to 10 years.

His legal team has admitted Hofmeyr may need counselling, as he is currently struggling to differentiate between fact and fiction.

The stuffed toy is currently undergoing therapy, and will consider laying charges after consulting with his legal team.

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Dead-Frog-in-WoolworthsWoolworths South Africa suffered an embarrassing blow this week when a salad was found in a food container intended to only contain a frog.

The meal was packed in a pet shop in Randburg, Johannesburg.

The pre-packed lunch was especially ordered, following a request from a visiting French diplomat, Jean-Baptiste Grenouille.

Spokesperson for Woolworths South Africa, Mervyn Bottleface said it is not known how the salad got into the container, but that the incident was currently under investigation.

“I’m just as horrified as everybody else. My WhatsApp hasn’t stopped. I’ve lost 18 Twitter followers. I haven’t had a retweet since Monday. I haven’t slept. My hair’s a mess. I just can’t anymore,” said Bottleface.

Mervyn Bottleface
Mervyn Bottleface

French diplomat Grenouille said he was highly offended to find lettuce, tomato and feta cheese hidden under his frog.

Grenouille refused to eat his meal and would be ordering his food directly from France in future.

The pet shop in question is also investigating the matter.

Pet shop owner, Sally Furgills said one of her staff members ended up with a boa constrictor in her lunch box that same day, so there seemed to have been some confusion.

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