Rumours havevirginflight emerged just hours after Virgin Atlantic flight VS43 from Gatwick to Las Vegas was forced to turn around with what was described as ‘landing gear problems’.

The world watched on social media as minute-by-minute updates were posted, as the Boeing 747 circled Gatwick, preparing for an extremely risky non-standard landing.

Initial reports from Virgin Atlantic were that the flight could not continue due to serious technical issues with the landing gear.

However, sources close to the airline have revealed there was nothing wrong with the aeroplane, but it needed to divert attention away from the fact that it had failed to load three trolleys of gluten-free meal options, and one for on-board banters.

The source, who has requested to remain anonymous, said as soon as it was realised the gluten-free and banting options were not on board, a plan needed to be made.

According to the source, Virgin Atlantic public relations officers immediately relayed the message to the flight deck, telling them to turn around immediately and ‘follow further instructions’.

International aviation experts agree the ‘heroic landing’ option was the better one, saying if it had leaked the airline failed to cater for gluten-free and banting passengers, consequences would have been nothing short of disastrous.

Banting has taken the world of nutrition by storm.

It is an eating plan in which all carbohydrates are equated with the devil.

Gatwick airport resumed all flights shortly after the Boeing 747 was towed away and the passengers safely back in the terminal.


South Africans haveEskom-power-lines united on social media and other platforms during the past few weeks, with the common ground being frustration at power utility, Eskom.

Eskom has implemented various stages of what it calls ‘load shedding’ (power failures / blackouts) as the power giant fails dismally at its one task: electricity.

The blackouts have severely affected the economy too, with some experts predicting a complete meltdown.

However, excellent news emerged at a candle-lit press conference in Johannesburg this morning, headed by Eskom CEO Tshediso Matona.

“We have finally reached a plausible solution for the darkness, but we need all South Africans to be prepared to assist Eskom in resolving this crisis,” said Matona.

“We need all South Africans to put their hands in the air for at least 30 minutes per day. Many hands make light work,” he said.

“The obvious solution came to me while I was reading my 9-year-old son’s English text book last night, and I am eager to put it to the test. If we can get the lights to work, it’s a good place to start,” said Matona.

Matona said Eskom administration staff were already working on a table, much the same as the document for load shedding, putting areas into blocks.

People living in different areas would need to put their hands in the air at different times of the day, for 30 minutes at a time.

“We don’t like to put all our eggs into one basket, and we understand absence makes the heart grow fonder, but we need all hands on deck, and at the end of the day, we don’t want to be back at the drawing board, back at square one,” Matona said as he concluded the press conference.

Tshediso Matona
Tshediso Matona

Matona, who only took home just short of R16-million last year, was wearing a suit he had previously worn at an earlier press conference.

“I don’t like wearing the same clothes twice, but when the country is in crisis, and I only manage around R15-million per year, I also need to make sacrifices. At Eskom, we call it solidarity,” said Matona.

Please keep an eye on your local press for details of when to put your hands in the air.


nedbankchallenge__70863.1405362606.220.220A south African man has become the first person in the world to remain conscious, while watching an entire day’s play of golf.

88-year-old Neville Roughputter said he was watching round one of the Nedbank Golf Challenge on Supersport, when all of a sudden he realised the day’s play had ended, and he was still awake.

“I actually even remember some of the shots of animals and birds frolicking around the course,” said a mentally exhausted Roughputter.

Roughputter said he immediately contacted his grandson, Harold, asking him to fax the Guinness World Record adjudicators.

Guinness World Record adjudicators have agreed to tentatively confirm the feat as a world record, but are awaiting footage from Roughputter’s in-house surveillance cameras.

Neville Roughputter
Neville Roughputter

Adjudicator, Spike Maximus said the longest recorded time spent consciously watching golf before Roughputter’s incredible feat, was 7-and-a-half minutes. It was recorded back in 1961.

Maximus said, “This is unbelievable. We’ve never even had professional golfers remain conscious throughout an entire round, while playing. A clubhouse nap after nine holes is, if you’d excuse the pun, par for the course.”

Roughputter’s time has not yet been validated, but initial reports suggest he managed approximately eight hours, smashing any previous record.


boylesBritain’s got Talent star Susan Boyle has lashed out at the British public following her failed Movember campaign.

Boyle, famous for her performances during the 2009 edition of Britain’s got Talent, was hoping to raise at least £1-million during her 2014 campaign.

At the deadline at midnight on Sunday night, Boyle had only raised £8,60.

£5 of that total was reportedly donated by a homeless man outside a shopping centre on Saturday.

“Last year I raised just over £1400,00. I cannot believe the ignorance of the British public. I’m disgusted,” said Boyle.

In protest at what she calls ‘complete apathy’, Boyle hired a local garden service company to remove her moustache on Friday afternoon – over 48 hours ahead of the official end of Movember.

A spokesperson for the garden service said it took them 6 hours to remove what they called a very well cultivated and landscaped patch of ground.

Boyle said she would think twice before taking part in Movember next year.

In 2012, Boyle released her autobiography called Fifty Shaves a Day.