Eskom finally announces immediate solution to load shedding

South Africans haveEskom-power-lines united on social media and other platforms during the past few weeks, with the common ground being frustration at power utility, Eskom.

Eskom has implemented various stages of what it calls ‘load shedding’ (power failures / blackouts) as the power giant fails dismally at its one task: electricity.

The blackouts have severely affected the economy too, with some experts predicting a complete meltdown.

However, excellent news emerged at a candle-lit press conference in Johannesburg this morning, headed by Eskom CEO Tshediso Matona.

“We have finally reached a plausible solution for the darkness, but we need all South Africans to be prepared to assist Eskom in resolving this crisis,” said Matona.

“We need all South Africans to put their hands in the air for at least 30 minutes per day. Many hands make light work,” he said.

“The obvious solution came to me while I was reading my 9-year-old son’s English text book last night, and I am eager to put it to the test. If we can get the lights to work, it’s a good place to start,” said Matona.

Matona said Eskom administration staff were already working on a table, much the same as the document for load shedding, putting areas into blocks.

People living in different areas would need to put their hands in the air at different times of the day, for 30 minutes at a time.

“We don’t like to put all our eggs into one basket, and we understand absence makes the heart grow fonder, but we need all hands on deck, and at the end of the day, we don’t want to be back at the drawing board, back at square one,” Matona said as he concluded the press conference.

Tshediso Matona
Tshediso Matona

Matona, who only took home just short of R16-million last year, was wearing a suit he had previously worn at an earlier press conference.

“I don’t like wearing the same clothes twice, but when the country is in crisis, and I only manage around R15-million per year, I also need to make sacrifices. At Eskom, we call it solidarity,” said Matona.

Please keep an eye on your local press for details of when to put your hands in the air.

#newsbyrory

47 Comments

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  1. Instead of everyone moaning , why don’t we all work together …if all south africans for instance switched there gysers off at a peak demand , we would be helping to eliminate load shedding and allowing us to still have lights on and not be in total darkness.for a certain amount of hours. This can only work if everyone participates. Eskom does not have a kiwk fix and can not wave a wond and all will be sorted. The power problem is going to take time to sort out and we can make a diffrence by helping out instead of getting angry and frustared with the situation , but rather use electricity sparingly.

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    • Power consumption is lower than in 2007, and well below the estimates for this period.

      We’re already minimizing use. If not, we’d be in the dark permanently. The state of the power grid isn’t bad, it’s fucked.

      Wake up & get off your high horse. You help noone but government by spreading their propaganda.

      Liked by 1 person

    • The problem is only about 30% of electricity is used by households!
      The UK during the 70s was more organised .Solutions
      1 .All non essential business lights to switch off at 17 .30.
      2 .Switch off one in every two street lights.
      3 .Switch off all lit billboards.
      4. Companies to switch to flexitime
      Of course a lot of the above is common sense, our Goverment have made sure we are even more short of that than electricity

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    • What on earth are you talking stefano? Wake up!! The Rand is falling, industries and businesses hugely affected and you suggest we switch off our geysers?!

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    • Much better idea, especially for those who don’t know their “their’s from their “there’s”: Get rid of this stupid, corrupt, communist anc government and privatise electricity supply.

      Like

  2. Experts expect that we will have load shedding for years to come because of the maintanance backlog and delay in getting Medupi online. One of Eskoms challenges is the mounting municipal debt. Can all South Africans who are able to pay but have been illegally connected electricity please stand up!

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  3. yeah…sounds like a s.a. solution all right…..and the government is silent on the issue…going back to the Dark Ages….yebo yes……There is a better solution..GET THE PEOPLE EDUCATED before employment….

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  4. I can’t believe that this is now our new solution!
    People are doing everything in their powers to try & continue running their business & not making a loss, buying generators, implementation of power saving solutions at home & in business. Yet the word from a man who earns R16Million a year is “Put your hands up in the air”
    Oh and as he mentions he doesn’t like wearing a suit twice but has as he’s making a sacrifice & now only earning R15million a year… Please this is a huge problem & it’s going to be here for a very long time. And remember there’s no compensation for all the blackouts etc but you’re still expected to pay your electricity bill every month…
    Give us a true solution & not dilution !

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  5. This is exactly how we started because no one realised how expensive it is to import electricity till we came up with S.O.S translated means Switch Off Switches. This should be Eskom No 1 drive coz l always see most building with all the lights on during the weekend. Do we have ghosts working at night eg The Magistrates Court Building in Durban is this not wasting? My question to Eskom is who is going to replace our gadgets when they finally succumb to load shedding. Its high time SOS is implemented before its too late and it starts from the TOP.

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  6. “We need all South Africans to put their hands in the air for at least 30 minutes per day. Many hands make light work,” he said.

    Domkop!

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  7. There is no use complaining about the situation. It is real and it is here until Eskom can sort themselves out. Rather use this time working on how to overcome the ‘lack of electricity’ in our homes/businesses using creative ideas on preparing meals, long talks with your loved one when there is no TV.

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  8. Now that’s what I call “light” hearted. Your future’s going to be bright. It’s called humour guys and even though the matter is VERY serious, it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t crack a joke about it. I’d say lighten up, but that would just be taking it too far…I agree that it’s nonsense that we as tax payers/electricity buyers should suffer because of incompetence, but reality is reality. Unfortunately.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Easy as Pie…. All South Africa needs to do is get rid of all the illegals who leeches from TAXPAYERS and the basic community. Then more work for SA people and less stress on the electricity need. Take the townships for example, why is it necessary to have burning lights in surrounding offices ON during the night when there is no one working?

    These simple steps can be taken, but NO lets rather push 16 MILLION rand into somebodies pocket , who can’t perform his duties. Plainly said – IDIOTS !!!!

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  10. I dont think mr. Matona’s remarks are funny and I do have an excellent sense of humour. I know for a fact that his house has never been without electricity since the blackouts started, so maybe he can afford jokes, I really think the majority of us do not find anything funny in the situation.

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  11. Every village has one it looks like SA has many villages with more than one…………………………………………………….Just Saying………………………..Its Humor you Numpties…

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Holy crapola. Anyone heard of Satire? And here I thought Americans remarks on articles and FB were ignorant and stupid. Guys. Please look up ‘satire’ in the dictionary. To the Author, nice one!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Good one, and to those who actually took this seriously… I actually don’t know what to say without being insulting!
    Yes, it’s a really serious situation, but that won’t stop the Comedians… in fact, it gives them more material to work with!
    And sometimes one just has to laugh, otherwise life here becomes unbearable!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Matona, who only took home just short of R16-million last year, was wearing a suit he had previously worn at an earlier press conference.

    “I don’t like wearing the same clothes twice, but when the country is in crisis, and I only manage around R15-million per year, I also need to make sacrifices. At Eskom, we call it solidarity,” said Matona.

    take the smile of ur face…u ran eskom into the ground and u still make a joke about 15 million

    lets see when the other silos will collapse and who will u blame i hope its urself u blame and ur 22 million bonus for doin nothing

    we all read it was 22 million so who lieing ..lets guess

    give back ur bonuses and stop sharing our damn electricity with other countries..its ours when we have to get blackouts

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  15. You say that don’t like wearing the same clothes twice and taking home R15 million per annum is a sacrifice!….. You fucking dumb cunt! Try wearing the same clothes for 6 months and now, thanks to you lot, not being able to see if it’s clean.

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  16. The comments about the government incompetence aside, because we all know it, I have to say I am amazed at how many people missed the aim of this parody completely. Compliments to the author but it opens up the question of how many people out there are capable of coming up with any better solutions.

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  17. SATIRE: (noun) the use of humour, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues

    This article is SATIRICAL.

    Like

  18. I tried to make just one light work by putting up both my hands…but alas…..I live alone and so I don’t think my hands are many enough.

    Like

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