South African President Zuma gestures during a news conference in PretoriaAn unprecedented phenomenon took place at the border between South Africa and Zimbabwe during Jacob Zuma’s State of the Nation Address on Thursday night.

An estimated 155 000 Zimbabwean refugees were spotted scrambling back home, over the fence, between 19h05 and 20h00 last night, while chaos continued in Parliament.

Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe has since launched a scathing attack on Zuma, demanding the South African President apologise to the world.

Mugabe has threatened military action if Zuma does not personally fetch all of his Zimbabwean refugees.

“I sent them over the fence just two weeks ago. I don’t have place for them here, and we’ve run out of eggs, bread, water, electricity and petrol,” Mugabe said while pulling heavily on a Cuban cigar on Friday morning.

Mugabe urged the South African government to patrol its borders more effectively, and to be stricter on those wanting to leave.

Spokesperson for the The Border Control Operational Coordinating Committee (BCOCC), Simphiwe ‘Barbwire’ Mokoena said his officers were glued to their television screens and missed the frantic frenzy at the fence.

Desperate Zimbabweans make their way home.
Desperate Zimbabweans scramble home

“This is typical of Zuma,” Mokoena said. “He cleverly created a decoy last night, leaving our borders vulnerable and wide open for cheap labour to escape.”

Chaos broke out in Parliament last night when EFF members once again demanded that Zuma answer questions regarding the money spent on Nkandla.

The situation spiralled out of control, with almost half of the members, including the opposition, walking out of their own accord.

Meanwhile, more officers have been deployed at South African borders in an attempt to keep cheap labour in the country.


A few of the popular tweets doing the rounds during SONA:

eskomtwoA young South African mother is currently being treated for shock, after learning on Thursday last week she had three children – two of whom are still toddlers.

22-year-old Poppie Ligtoring and her husband 26-year-old Hermanus reported discovering the children in what they thought was the spare bedroom in their modest home in Benoni.

Hermanus said it was during load shedding [rolling black-out / power failure].

He said he had reached staged 1336 on his Nintendo Tetris, when Eskom cut the lights, and he was forced to look around for the first time in years.

Hermanus said he started that particular game in September 1999, and had not looked up since.

He did boast, however, in that Eskom had only reached stage three, when he was almost on stage 1500 of his particular game.

His wife Poppie, meanwhile, had also been busy since 1996, and found she had baked no less than 212 302 lemon meringues.

Poppie Ligtoring
Poppie Ligtoring

The children – now in a place of safety – are two, three, and six years old respectively.

Poppie says she has no recollection of either conceiving nor giving birth to any of them.

“These childs is definitely my childs. They is all having my ears. I wants my childs back. I has cakes for them,” said a severely shaken Poppie.

She is now selling her lemon meringues at a bargain R9,99 each.

Hermanus, meanwhile, has been missing along with his Nintendo console, since Monday.