sniffer2.pngA dedicated SARS sniffer dog was on the receiving end of the perfect gift at a prestigious event held at a popular hotel in Sandton on Wednesday.

The event, attended by top brass from Airports Company South Africa (ACSA), South African Police Services (SAPS) and South African Revenue Service (SARS), was arranged to thank 4-year-old Raffles for his hard work over the last two years.

Speaking to the media after the event, Raffles’s proud handler, Reggie Spotless, said, “Raffles has single-handedly intercepted no less than R600-million worth of narcotics at OR Tambo International Airport during the last year alone.”

He said Raffles was starting to become very edgy of late and even snapped at an empty baggage trolley a few weeks ago and also tried to attack the luggage conveyor belt.

“It can’t be easy smelling cocaine all day without ever having the chance to just sit down and enjoy a line yourself. He was bound to start losing his mind at some stage,” Spotless said.

“We simply cannot afford to lose the services of this wonderful dog, so we did the right thing. We gave Raffles the day off, organised a lavish event, and cut him a 38cm line of cocaine to enjoy as a reward.”

Spotless said it was only understandable that Raffles would start to become aggressive after four years in the service without ever having the chance to sample anything.

“It made perfect sense. He’s a completely different dog now. It’s like he’s been given a new lease on life. He just seems to have more wisdom about his daily routine now that he knows exactly what it is he is intercepting,” Spotless said.

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Beach-Party-at-PhuketOver two thousand Mossel Bay residents have been treated for dehydration and exhaustion at local hospitals.

In December last year, approximately R68-million worth of cocaine washed up on beaches between Hartenbos and Klein Brak River on the Garden route in South Africa, with police suspecting a lot more was discovered, but not handed in.

Corporal lieutenant captain sergeant major warrant officer Mossie Spuurman said he did not mind the odd party over the festive season, but that the line had to be drawn somewhere.

Spuurman is the acting head of the acting head of the acting head of the acting head of the South African Police Services in Mossel Bay.

One of the residents, 28-year-old local Dream Catcher Executive, Jordan Brightman, said he was still partying and did not know when the New Year’s party was going to end.

Speaking from his hospital bed last night, Brightman asked if Fatboy Slim had arrived yet, as he had received a message from him in the clouds.

Brightman was heavily tranquilised minutes later.

According to his mother, Margaret, Brightman’s dream catching business was on the rocks.

nurse
Sister Stephanie Vos

Health officials reported more than 2000 people had been treated for dehydration in September alone.

“They leave but they keep coming back, and we are forced to treat them,” said Sister Stephanie Vos from the Mossel Bay Hospital.

Citing research as the reason, Vos admitted she had tried some of the loot, and that it wasn’t the best quality.

“In my opinion, I don’t even think it is cocaine,” she said.

Spuurman said his officers were monitoring the situation closely and would not hesitate to reduce the beats per minute in an effort to bring the revelers back into society.

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