roland-garros-news

A British couple has laid a formal complaint with the Association of Tennis Professionals (ATP) following the French Open Men’s Singles Final at Roland Garros.

In Sunday’s final, Novak Djokovic came from a set down to defeat Andy Murray to win his first French Open and become the first man since 1969 to hold all four Grand Slam titles concurrently.

The couple, 67-year-old Harold and 71-year-old Hilary Swiftwhistle from Westminster said the Men’s Singles Final was the worst experience of their lives.

“We paid over £4000 to be at that event and it was absolutely horrific. We couldn’t understand a single word the umpire said throughout the match,” said Hilary.

Harold said they were also unable to see the scoreboard due to their failing eye sight, so it was a ‘complete waste of time and money’.

“In his post-match interview, Novak also made absolutely no sense, blabbering on in that ridiculous language. It was like listening to a bunch of ducks quacking.”

“It’s beyond ludicrous that a tournament of such apparent prestige should still, in this day and age, be conducted in any language other than English. The French are an arrogant bunch and need to get over themselves,” Harold complained.old-couple-newsbyrory

Hilary said she had asked her daughter to post a complaint on HelloPeter as well as the official Roland Garros website, while she had penned a strongly worded letter to the ATP.

“And I wrote the bloody letter in English, I did!” she shouted.

Harold said they would be keenly awaiting a response as well as a formal apology.

“It surely cannot continue like this. We’re in the 21st century now,” he said.

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hippoA security guard is considering his options after being attacked and severely injured by a hippo at Tala Game Reserve near Cato Ridge on Thursday morning.

Spokesperson for ER24, Bradman Stretcher, said the guard was in a serious condition after his arm ws bitten by the hippo.

The 46 year old security guard, Winston Goodprice had his right arm severely injured when the hippo became angry and snapped at him.

Speaking from his hospital bed late on Friday night, Goodprice, who is recovering slowly, said he was disappointed with the hippo, and would be laying a complaint with consumer watchdog website, HelloPeter.com.

“The hippo refused to give me a single insurance quote, and when I double-clicked for the third time, that is when the hippo became angry and attacked me,” said Goodprice.

Goodprice’s wife Olive said she was eventually forced to approach a broker in order to insure their goods.

“It’s too late for Winston, but we need to raise awareness, so this does not happen again,” says Olive.

Douglas Barkfur
Douglas Barkfur

Wildlife expert Douglas Barkfur says hippos should not be expected to provide insurance quotes.

“Too much is expected of our hippos, and as a result, many of them feel despondent, and act accordingly. This needs to stop. The victims here are the hippos,” said Barkfur.

Tala Game Reserve refused to comment.

The complaint with Hellopeter.com is pending.

At the time of going to print the hippo was in call centre training, and could not be reached for comment.

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